Grampy Drinks the Koolaid

My father in law, Tex is 84 years old. He's a widower and lives in a senior mobile home park a couple miles from us.  He's old enough to be bitter and honery and get away with it. He's 5'3" tall, and loud; cranky as an old rooster with a hangover. But he's the only parent Mike and I have left so we do love him and patiently tolerate him, knowing first-hand that parents only come once in life and don't last forever. And we also know that our adult children are watching us and getting clues on how to treat their aged P's (parents). 

     Grampy has 27 great-grandchildren. Every time a new one is born we sit down together and count them all up again. We start with the oldest and name them all down to the new one. He never remembers how many he has. He just knows he has "too damn many." "Well" he says "At least most of them are boys. Girls are trouble. I never wanted girls". (He had three sons) Seeing the illogic behind that reasoning and having had two daughters of my own who are and were NOT trouble (well not much) I just nodded my head and changed the subject. I used to argue with him. I don't have the energy anymore. He's as stubborn as dried egg yolk on a fork sitting three days out in the sun. Unlike God, who changed His mind about destroying the golden calf-worshiping Hebrew children when Moses beseeched Him not to, Grampy does NOT change his mind.

     We had my grandson Jared's 8th bday party here at my house, weekend before last, We had a piñata and all the kids got cellophane treat bags with all kinds of candies and prizes that fell from the piñata, plus other goodies Sarah (Jared's mom) stuck in the bag. Well Grampy came to the party. He says there are too damn many kids underfoot so leave him out of the parties...But he comes over anyway. Nevertheless he had a swell time, even took a whack at the piñata, entertained us with stories of his youth, and was the last to leave. 

Grampy Bustin Up the Piñata

     Mike (my husband) gave one of the leftover candy-filled treat bags to Grampy as he was walking out the door. Grampy came over this weekend shoved the treat bag he'd received in my face and said "Your husband tried to kill me with this candy" There was no candy left in the bag - he'd eaten it all. There were only two balloons and a small yellow bottle of bubbles (the tiny kind with the wand in the lid) "What?" I asked eagerly, knowing I was going to get a great reply and gearing up for it. "Yeah!" he continued, pointing to the cellophane bag "I tried drinking that yellow lemonade and it tasted like soap! I hope none of them other kids got sick on it!" Well I had to hahaha in his face and that only made him spittin' mad. He stormed out of the room in search of Mike to give HIM an ear-full. How on earth did that man make it to 85 years?

          

~  Mary Catherine