 |
| We're BAAAACK! |
Being new (again) to California, Mustache Man and I had to get our car registered and new driver's licenses this week. Today we went to the DMV. In Arizona it's called the MVD, which I never got used to. So I'm back home, without any vowels. And it was the usual madhouse that I remember from the days before Al Gore invented the internet and you could do everything online. But, being new to the state (again), we had to go IN to get established as permanent, law-abiding, tax-paying, recycled residents of Jerry Brown's California. Even with an appointment the line to get our pictures taken was loooong.
We both had to take a written test which was totally unexpected and extremely unstudied for. What the?!? I've been driving for a hundred years. What could I possibly not know? We both barely passed. And FYI, it is illegal to drive with a "blood alcohol concentration" that is higher than .08. I did not know that. So, no more driving for me after 11am. I suspected the long line was because of New Guy. New Guy was having a hard day. I really felt for him. We've all been there, right? No one wants to be New Guy. And Ready For Retirement Lady was barely giving him minimal help. The Waiting In Line people were getting restless. And the Mustache and I, being the codependent, make-everyone-happy, proactive people that we are, felt we had to do something about it.
 |
| hey SIRI, how you doin'? |
We heard a lot of numbers being called over the PA by the automated pre-recorded voice of a woman. "Number B104 will now be served at window 34." Picking up on this, Mustache and I, we say out loud, "this female voice making the announcements? She should really be a SIRI." She would say "If you have numBER BEE. one. OH. four. please go TO window numBER thirTEE-four. She could even be interactive. She'd make wisecrack comments about people who go to the wrong window or have a pouty face. "Hey, you IN the YELLow jacKET. You are at the wrong winDOW. Are you stuPID?" and "Hey, I don't LIKE your attiTUDE. Go to the END of the LINE." All in that monotone she's so fond of. Everyone would be afraid to do anything wrong and get called out by SIRI. She'd make farting sounds right before the camera shot your picture just to make you smile weird. Or comment on what you're wearing. "That purple puke jacKET is not IN your COlor WHEEL, girlFRIEND." There's no end to what a SIRI could do at the DMV. She could even ride along for your driving test. "Turn left at the NEXT corner. I said left. LEFT. YOU fail." ha.ha. This was fun. The Waiting In Line people became engaged. They threw out ideas for a funny SIRI comments. It was great. Plus it was G-rated. Nice.
 |
| it's raining money! |
"But why stop here?", we say as we walk across the parking lot to find our car, which now has to be smog-emission tested for our new state and returned to the DMV for verification within 60 days. Mustache Man and I think we should sell this SIRI idea to the Department of Transportation (a government entity who will, of course, build our business) and we'd make a virtual killing. We'd call it, "SIRIously??" Okay. Who wants in?
