Monday, October 25, 2010

To Sleep Perchance to Dream...

I didn't feel well today so I came home from work early and promptly fell asleep on the couch. I dreamt that I was sleeping on the most comfortable couch in the world under grandma's quilt —in my mom's house. I kept drifting in and out of sleep (in my dream) but I could hear the door open and Susan walked in, picked up the phone and started talking to a Realtor about selling the house. I could feel her presence in this awsomely comfy home and there were soft yellows and cool breezes all around me. She kept talking on the phone, laughing and chatting and I didn't wake up but could sense that she sat down at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. It felt so good being asleep on the couch in my mom's house. Then other scenes came and went (like dreams do—disjointed weird other stuff that might not even fit in with the plot of the dream)

Finally my mom came home. She was about 50 with highlighted short brown manicured hair and had on a cute yellow suit. She set down her briefcase and evidently was just coming home from work. And right then I understood it was me, Susan and my mom living in this house where the sun shone so prettily on the flower garden in back and filtered through the gauzy curtains hanging on the patio door. Susan was off the phone by then and she and mom started talking about their day and I could hear them relaxing at the kitchen table with their coffee and laughing together. The world was a good place to be in, like it was on a summer day when you were a kid and your friends were outside calling you to come play. I could hear my mom's laugh again. I could actually HEAR it. I knew if I could wake up, I could run across the room and go hug her tight and talk to her. I was right there. But I couldn't wake up. I couldn't wake up. So I let the love in the room swirl about my head and just enjoyed their company in my dream.

At some point I began to slowly climb my way up to the surface of being awake. Slowly, slowly. And as I began climbing I half realized I was waking and started crying as the dream let go of me. The reality of just being at home and the day to day hurdles and disappointments that exist in real-life began to crowd back into my subconciousness. I wanted to shout —“No wait!” I could almost touch my mom again! Let me just hear her laugh one more time!

Then it was gone. I was on my own couch in my own house. No sister. No mother. No sunshine. Just me. That would have been a good time for my little dog to jump up on my lap and lick my face. Shoot I don't even have a dog.

Now anyone that knows me understands that I put a lot of stock in dreams. Especially my dreams. I know for a fact that God talks to me in my dreams from time to time. Sometimes my dreams are a reassurance of something I needed divine confirmation on. Sometimes they give me an answer to something I haven't been able to puzzle out. Sometimes they are a warning of something that will happen. 

But sometimes the meanings are just for me to know and keep close to my heart, look back on from time to time and smile. That's what this one was. Just a little kiss from God on the cheek and a peek into what's in store for me. Some day.